Oh boy. I learned a valuable lesson from only my second show on the Z Talk Radio Network. I learned that intentions and effect are not always the same thing. I'll give more detail on this lesson after a few other show notes.My wisdom tooth extraction
The following link is to the podcast I was laughing at while while getting my tooth pulled…
Warning! The podcast is of an adult nature, although in a high school boy's sex fantasy sort of way. It's very funny and very profane. Listen at your own discretion.
http://www.last.fm/music/Kevin+Smith+and+Scott+Mosier/_/SModcast+110:+Pink+Limp+Moan
ADE-651 Device & Dowsing
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2010/03/05/earlyshow/main6269551.shtml?tag=mncol;lst;1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruTmqfGJhTI
http://www.skepdic.com/ideomotor.html
Charles B. Pierce (director of 'The Legend of Boggy Creek') died at age 71
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/10/arts/10pierce.html
'The Legend of Boggy Creek'
At Amazon.com
http://www.amazon.com/Legend-Boggy-Creek-Sandra-Cassel/dp/B000G296X4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1269200405&sr=8-1
It is also available through Netflix.
Music heard on the show...
Dimland Radio opening theme song: 'Ahead' by Wire
First ad break bumpers: 'Customer' & 'You Lose' by The Replacements
Second ad break bumpers: 'I Will Dare' & 'Achin' To Be' by The Replacements
Closing song: 'Angler's Treble Hook' by $5 Fiddle
Ok, now to the important part of this blog entry. After some technical issues that I was having were sorted out, I went into the final segment of my show. My intent was to talk about how skeptics react when being read by a psychic and about cold reading techniques. Nothing wrong with that right?
Well, no, there isn't. However, the way I went about was all wrong. The night before during Z Talk's Paradigm Shift with Dave and Christy I called in and joined in on what was a ribald, loosey-goosey off the cuff call in portion. It was a conversation consisting of various hosts of shows on Z Talk, including Allie Cheslick.
Allie hosts 'Wings of Love Radio' on Z Talk Radio. During that conversation, she did what I think could be considered a mini (very mini) reading of me, wondering why her spirits were telling her that the age 32 was important for me. That something life changing happened to me when I was 32. Well, being a skeptic I didn't go along. I wanted her to tell me what the event was. I'm a skeptic, that's what skeptics do.
After Paradigm Shift ended, I had the idea to use a couple clips from that show. I thought it would be good for my show. I asked Dave Berck if I could use three clips. He said it would be no problem.
I did the segment, played the clips, and gave my thoughts. I ended the show and went into the chatroom. What I found happening in there stunned me. People in chat felt I had betrayed them by attacking Allie. I immediately became defensive. "I did not attack Allie," I protested. And, honestly, I didn't think I had.
But then, after mere moments in the chatroom, I realized that intentions and effect were two different things. I had not intended to attack Allie, but, in effect, that's just what I did. When I realized I was wrong I immediately began to apologize to Allie and to everyone at Z Talk: owners, hosts and listeners alike.
I was wrong in how I proceeded. I did not get permission from all involved in the Paradigm Shift conversation. I was wrong when I did not discuss with Allie about what I intended to do on my show. I did not give her a chance to give her input. I was wrong when I did not explain what clips I wanted to use and how I would use them when I asked Dave about using them. If I had told Dave, I know that he would have advised me not to use the clips and approach the topic in a different way.
I assure Allie and everyone at Z Talk that I had no malicious intent. I have nothing personally against Allie or anyone at Z Talk. It could have easily been anyone else giving me that "mini reading" and my reaction would be the same. And I would have been just as wrong with them.
I can also assure everyone that that show no longer exists. It's gone. The whole show, not just that segment. It has been deleted from my files and will never find its way back onto the internet. I did not even listen to it before making sure it was gone.
I stayed in the chatroom after the show for more than an hour. I made sure that I apologized to everyone, especially Allie. I did not engage in any excusing making. I was wrong and I knew it. Allie's friends were understandably and rightly upset with me. I stayed and took my punishment. I did not want to appear to run away.
I've spent a lot of time getting to know the folks at Z Talk over the last few months. I wanted them to know I am a skeptic, but that I am not a jerk. That they could trust me. Well, it took only two shows for me to break that trust. It is now my job to regain it. I hope I can.
What I did on that show was unprofessional. It was disrespectful. It was rude. And it will not happen again. Life is full of lessons and I just learned a hard one.
I hope this blog entry and the on air apology I will make first thing on next week's show will help in rebuilding that trust. To Allie Cheslick and everyone at Z Talk, I say again, I am sincerely sorry for my poorly thought out behavior and it will not happen again. I hope you can forgive me.
When I discussed this with my wife, she wrote the following in response to this whole issue. Yes, she is biased and, no, she didn't hear the show, but she was present and helped out as I went over my show prep. Consider it character witness testimony on my behalf…
My husband Jim, Dr. Dim, is my best friend first and foremost. I am biased, but I want to let you know that he is genuine. He is the most generous person I've ever met. He is extremely respectful and patient. Yes, he is strong in his beliefs, but he is also someone who appreciates and understands different points of view. He has no enemies to be sure.
He came to Ztalk to listen to his friend, Scott Roberts, host his show. Jim and Scott have been friends for nearly twenty years. Jim has supported his friend no matter what the situation. Their relationship is puzzling to many as Jim is a skeptic and Scott is not. Their beliefs could not be more opposite. They have debated and debated, going 'round and 'round without ever losing sight of their friendship. I've yet to understand it in it's entirety, but it shows how loyal a friend Jim is. They are able to throw what others would perceive as barbs at each other, laugh at them and maintain a friendship.
As Jim spent time in the Ztalk community, he has come to find true friendship in yet more people with opposing beliefs. He has been able to get his point across without hurting feelings, without fighting. He and I love witty banter. We love to exchange sarcasm and are huge fans of sharp witted people. As alike as Jim and I are, I'm more emotionally charged. I could generalize and say that's because I'm a woman, but. I do have very close friends who are extremely religious, where I am not. We have enough in common otherwise to be life long friends. I'm able to relate and appreciate those with opposing beliefs, so it's not foreign to me.
Jim can and does rant away with the best of us. If something irks him, and many things do, he will confide in family, friends, and me and let it all out. We go out of our way to show respect, therefore we get insulted by those who have no sense of others' feelings.
Back to the issue at hand. Jim would never be intentionally hurtful to anyone. He has found this community that is made up of people who's beliefs do not match his to be wonderful. I assure you he has not thrown a barb at anyone off- air. He talks about the shows and the chats with fondness. I know he truly enjoys spending time on Ztalk. He is embarrassed and hurt that he made you doubt his loyalty. We failed to really think it over and look at it from all sides, up, down and backwards. We of course can see where it all went wrong. He meant no harm. He wasn't launching an assault. Thank you to those of you who have forgiven him and I hope those who haven't will reconsider his apologies.
Personally, when he told me that he was going to do a radio show on Ztalk, I wondered how that would be possible. He has befriended all of you and as a skeptic myself I wasn't sure he'd be able to discuss what he'd like to without hurting you. But, this is Jim we're talking about and if anyone could, it would be him. His show came out of suggestions from many of you and his closest friends. As far as I'm concerned a radio show is right up Jim's alley. He is a wealth of information, he is articulate and intelligent, he loves to talk (!), he's got a great sense of humor… it simply is a perfect venue for him. Having a show on Ztalk? I wasn't sure. Just two shows in, I think he's done a wonderful job thus far. He made his first big mistake and he feels terrible about it. He is nothing if not genuine and he had every intention of doing this show to inform and have fun, not to hurt.
- Dr. Dim's biggest fan, Mrs. Dr. Dim.
This has been a long blog. Thank you for reading it.
He came to Ztalk to listen to his friend, Scott Roberts, host his show. Jim and Scott have been friends for nearly twenty years. Jim has supported his friend no matter what the situation. Their relationship is puzzling to many as Jim is a skeptic and Scott is not. Their beliefs could not be more opposite. They have debated and debated, going 'round and 'round without ever losing sight of their friendship. I've yet to understand it in it's entirety, but it shows how loyal a friend Jim is. They are able to throw what others would perceive as barbs at each other, laugh at them and maintain a friendship.
As Jim spent time in the Ztalk community, he has come to find true friendship in yet more people with opposing beliefs. He has been able to get his point across without hurting feelings, without fighting. He and I love witty banter. We love to exchange sarcasm and are huge fans of sharp witted people. As alike as Jim and I are, I'm more emotionally charged. I could generalize and say that's because I'm a woman, but. I do have very close friends who are extremely religious, where I am not. We have enough in common otherwise to be life long friends. I'm able to relate and appreciate those with opposing beliefs, so it's not foreign to me.
Jim can and does rant away with the best of us. If something irks him, and many things do, he will confide in family, friends, and me and let it all out. We go out of our way to show respect, therefore we get insulted by those who have no sense of others' feelings.
Back to the issue at hand. Jim would never be intentionally hurtful to anyone. He has found this community that is made up of people who's beliefs do not match his to be wonderful. I assure you he has not thrown a barb at anyone off- air. He talks about the shows and the chats with fondness. I know he truly enjoys spending time on Ztalk. He is embarrassed and hurt that he made you doubt his loyalty. We failed to really think it over and look at it from all sides, up, down and backwards. We of course can see where it all went wrong. He meant no harm. He wasn't launching an assault. Thank you to those of you who have forgiven him and I hope those who haven't will reconsider his apologies.
Personally, when he told me that he was going to do a radio show on Ztalk, I wondered how that would be possible. He has befriended all of you and as a skeptic myself I wasn't sure he'd be able to discuss what he'd like to without hurting you. But, this is Jim we're talking about and if anyone could, it would be him. His show came out of suggestions from many of you and his closest friends. As far as I'm concerned a radio show is right up Jim's alley. He is a wealth of information, he is articulate and intelligent, he loves to talk (!), he's got a great sense of humor… it simply is a perfect venue for him. Having a show on Ztalk? I wasn't sure. Just two shows in, I think he's done a wonderful job thus far. He made his first big mistake and he feels terrible about it. He is nothing if not genuine and he had every intention of doing this show to inform and have fun, not to hurt.
- Dr. Dim's biggest fan, Mrs. Dr. Dim.
This has been a long blog. Thank you for reading it.
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